So I don’t think those free condoms universities hand out suck as much as guys say they do.
Okay, but seriously. If you’re ever considering sexy times with a guy and he tells you that he can’t wear a condom there is a 100.3% chance that he is a liar, and you should definitely not have sex with him. Don’t have sex with liars. Have sex with a cute honest people that bring you ice cream the next morning. Liars do not bring you ice cream. And if they do it’s ice cream made of lies. Ice cream made of lies is very emotionally unfulfilling. Don’t trust liars or their disease-ridden ice cream.
that was the best safe-sex talk ever.
Why I am suspicious of those who say they got pregnant because a condom “broke”…
HAVE ANY OF YOU EVER USED A CONDOM. HAVE ANY OF YOU HAD SEX YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT CONDOMS. SHUT THE FUCK UP. I’m sick of this shit. Just because a condom has a tensile force high enough to withstand inflation does not mean it can comfortably fit any penis. No one wants latex literally stretched against a boner like it is in this pic. A condom that is too small causes added friction which can lead to the condom tearing. If someone tells you it is too small, you LISTEN. YOU DO NOT HAVE RAW SEX WITH THEM. THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM SAYING. YOU GO BUY A MAGNUM. There are even sizes above that. SO NO THERE IS NO EXCUSE TO SAY THAT A PERSON CANNOT WEAR ANY CONDOMS BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE WHO DO NOT FIT IN CERTAIN SIZES. And whoever the fuck said they don’t believe condoms break is literally fucking stupid as hell. You didn’t even try to think you slut shaming ignorant ass. Condoms do not break from things not fitting in them. They break due to frictional forces without sufficient lubricant and air bubbles trapped in the reservoir tip that push through the latex upon ejaculation. Proper application requires that the tip be pinched to remove this air while it is rolled down the shaft. Very few people know this due to the rampant lack of appropriate sex ed. Proper condom application technique and education is crucial to effective birth control and STI protection. So before you go spouting your ignorant crap, how bout you think about your penised partner and the overall function of a condom and try to spread real education rather than shaming people.
“i bet you cant name two structures that can hold water!” “well, dam”
Let me tell you a story. Once at a party, I had all the little girls sitting around me and I was asking them about their favorite parts of all the princess movies. The birthday girl was sitting next to me, and tells me, “Princess, your skin is the same color as mine.” I smile and agree, and try to move the game along, but she interrupts and says, “Your skin is brown and you’re a princess. It’s the same color as mine, but you’re a princess.”
“Well, if my skin is brown and your skin is brown, and I’m a princess, then you must be a princess too.” I tell her. And then I spent the next 10 minutes assuring all the black girls at the party that yes, they have lovely skin and yes, they can be princesses with me.
This happens at most of the parties I go to. I have had my arm stroked, my hair patted, my skin color commented on more times than I can remember. I am not simply hired out to entertain a bunch of cute little girls dressed in poofy skirts who want to play with a big girl in a poofier skirt. I am hired out because I am an affirmation. For these little black girls (and boys! I’ve dazzled a few of them too) Princess Tiana is proof that for once, they can be special BECAUSE of the color of their skin, not IN SPITE OF.
Adding some of her pictures for emphasis.
- Wet hair
- Comb through
- Separate at the part
- Draw a pentagram on the floor
- Perform blood sacrifice
- Offer up your soul to the devil
- Chant ancient Latin conjuration spell
- Summon Satan
- Ask Satan to braid your hair
You know what?
Screw you. I am done braiding people’s hair. Do you know how many braids I have done today?
And I don’t even get a “Hey Satan how’s it going your cloven hooves look fabulous today” it’s just “Braid it. Go.”
You know society is fucked up when you regret going to college because of all the loans you have to pay back….
Garon Wade and his husband Jamie were prepared for their son in 2012. They were not prepared for what strangers had to say.
- (Cab Driver in Florida directly after getting in) Where’s his mom? (Us) He doesn’t have a mom. (Long Awkward Silence)
- (Cashier at a Surf Shop, see’s just me and my little boy) Oh man, you were given Daddy duty today huh? (Me) It’s Daddy Duty everyday at my house bro. (Confused look)
- Do you think he’ll be more likely to grow up gay? (Me) No. But I’ll love him for whoever he is, so it doesn’t really matter does it?
- (Man on a plane next to me, completely out of nowhere) So did you leave his mom in DC or are you taking the baby to his mom in Florida? (Me) He doesn’t have a mom, he has two Dads. (Complete Silence)
- Are you guys going to tell him he’s adopted one day? (Us) Yea, but I’m pretty sure even if we didn’t, at some point he’d figure that one out right?
- You shouldn’t take babies on planes for the first many months because they get sick right away. (Us). He’s already been on 20 flights. (Silence)
- (Random Guy on the street) Where’s his mom? (Us) She didn’t want him, so I guess that makes us the next best thing.
- (Random Stranger at the grocery store) That baby’s so cute. Does your wife breastfeed? (Me). No he’s got two Dads so we give him formula. (Lady) What??
- (Another Random Lady at the grocery store). That baby is so young. You should NOT be out with him like this at the grocery store! (My husband) Oh I’m sorry are you a pediatrician? (Lady) Excuse me? (Husband) Are you a pediatrician? (Lady) Well, no. (Husband) Then I’m not that interested in what you have to say. My pediatrician said it’s fine to take him out. Have a good one.
- (Yet another Random Stranger) Where’s his mom? (Me) Where’s your mom?
This should be reblogged by everyone. Even if you’re straight, you should be a supporter.